The End....Or The Beginning?

Well, this is my final post whilst travelling around South East Asia.

I have to say that this has been one of the best experiences of my life. I know everyone said it would be but you don't fully understand what it means until you actually do it. Looking back now it seems only yesterday that I left my dad, brothers and sister at Manchester Airport bound for China. Everyone kept asking me if I was scared but the truth is, I never gave myself time to think about it. If I did then I probably would have chickened out long before.

The most daunting time was when I arrived at my hostel in Beijing. I'd actually gotten there ok but the thought of leaving it the next day to go explore this amazing capital city, well, to say I was shit scared would be an understatement. How did I get over it? As my regional manager said (on more than one occasion) J.F.D.I.......Just Fucking Do It.....and I did.

I never really thought about what I wanted out of my trip as a person but here are a few cliche's answered.

Am I a more confident person? I think so in some areas but not all. Ok I can navigate my way around Asia and do it alone but then again I was quite independent in doing this at home. If I wanted to go somewhere I would and I wouldn't expect anyone to hold my hand whilst doing it. I still find it hard sometimes to strike up a conversation with everyone I meet but I don't know if this is just because a lot of people I came across never seemed approachable to me. At the same time I think now that if they can't be bothered then why should I waste my time. I was happy having alone time but the friends I did meet were amazing in every way. Maybe I just had a feeling I wouldn't click with the others?

Did I 'find' myself? If by this it means discovering what I want out of life then yeah I suppose I did. If it means that I now know who I am then that's more difficult to answer. I know for sure what I like and what I don't like but do we ever know who we really are? I mean, we change and adapt ourselves everyday in life but now I believe I will do this for me and what feels right and not just to please everyone else. As for knowing what I want then yeah, I have to say I now do. I know I want to change my career and as scary as it sounds I actually find it exciting. This coming from someone stuck in the same job in the same branch for 10 years not wanting to step out of her bubble. I know I want to get my finances under control to be able to have a comfortable life ready to be lived. I want to take up hobbies and learn new and exciting things such as....learning Spanish fluently, learn a musical instrument like the piano maybe, keeping myself fit as a lifestyle and not just because of my weight, quit smoking so I can afford other luxuries like clothes and being able to do more things with my friends and family. I'm not saying i'll be able to do all these things but I know now that if I want it bad enough then I can go for it. No more being scared that i'll never be any good so why bother.

Ready for a relationship? Oooh this is a tough one. Whilst being away I've had time to reflect on my choices and actions in the past. The two things that still haunted me were cheating on Stuart resulting in my failed marriage and falling so badly for Dan and getting hurt like nothing else when he played me for 2 years and then rejected me. After 7 years of beating myself up about it and making myself ill to the extreme of severe depression, I finally realised that I had to forgive myself. With Stuart I realised it wasn't all my fault. It was both of ours. He was as much to blame as me but being so young back then I didn't know how to deal with it so I resented him and found a way to push him out of my life. Dan on the other hand, well I still think he's a class A prick and he shouldn't have treated me the way he did, but I let him. I have to take responsibility for that and I now have.

But am I ready to risk it all again? I just don't know. Most of you know that I signed upto a website called Tagged.com in my last month out here. I did this for 2 reasons. The first, so I could get used to talking to guys again and the second, because I knew I was away and the chance of actually meeting any of these guys would have to wait. I know you can never really know a person until you meet them but even chatting to them has had its ups and downs. I know now that being out of the dating game has had me at a severe disadvantage. I've been single for 7 years and I've never had to 'play the game' before. After some wise words from a true friend I think I finally get it. Don't get me wrong, I'll never say never but in order to find a relationship, I first need to concentrate on the relationship with myself which still needs a bit more attention.

Enough of this in depth rubbish. What were the highlights of my trip? Well here are my most memorable things in each place I visited....

China

Standing on the Great Wall 3 days after i'd left home.

Meeting a great friend whilst working with the Panda's in Ya'an and having a great time in Shanghai when we met up again

The food

Hong Kong

Being able to get to a gorgeous beach 10 minutes from the hustle and bustle of downtown

Cambodia

Sunrise at Angkor Wat Temple and the Tombraider Temple

Chilling out in Sihanoukville....a place i'd never heard of.

Vietnam

My 4 day motorcyle tour to Dalat

Halong Bay....simply stunning

Overnight sleeper buses

Laos

My time spent with a good friend I met in Vietnam

Buddha Park

Ending up at the wrong end of the country after a 22hr bus journey

Kuang Si Waterfalls

Thailand

Meeting amazing friends and having the time of my life in Koh Phi Phi

Island hopping

Bangkok at New Year

Malaysia

Cameron Highlands...beautiful

Seeing the Petronas Towers

My fun stay at the Reggae Mansion in KL

Singapore

The Duck and Flyer Tour

Food at Clarke Quay

Indonesia & Bali

Climbing the active Mt Bromo

Holding an orangutan

Ubud....amazing restaurants, hotel, monkey forest and the Og Og Balinese New Year

The amazing infinity pool in Amed and watching the sunrise over it

Philippines

Staying with a local family and a good friend Leila

Parties in Boracay and amazing beaches

Best BBQ chicken I've ever tasted

Taking part in the Easter parade

Watching the sunset with the local kids

I've had some amazing times, good times, funny times and bad times of which I have shared with you all. And although you couldn't write half of the stuff that happened to me, well, I can promise you that every word written was the truth. I've had more up's than down's even though the down's were really tough to deal with alone. I said before I came out here that if I was really unhappy I would give it a week before deciding to come home. I'm glad I never got that far. Ok i've been homesick more than a few times and had the worse stomach bug imaginable resulting in being on a drip for 5 hours in a hospital but I cried it out, stayed strong and carried on. So yeah, I can say that I am now a stronger willed person and i'm determined to stay this way and not run back to my meds whenever I have a blip in my life. I've learned that only you can change your life for the better.

To anyone who has always wanted to travel but been to scared too, I'd say do it! It honestly is so easy. All you need is a little confidence and a bit of asacommon sense. I got by in every country by learning two small words....hello and thank you. Seriously.

Will I ever travel again? Well I'd like to think so and my only regret is not starting sooner. There are so many other places of the world I want to see but I also have a life at home I want to build.

Besides, the world isn't going anywhere.

Boracay Part 2...The Filadians

After getting back to Bacolod, Lelia and I sat down and planned where to go next. The plan was Bohol, another stunning island. The accommodation was just as expensive as Boracay. We decided that why bother going to see another beach with no nightlife when we can hit Boracay again.

If I'm honest, I'm really exhausted from travelling now and losing patience with packing and moving on every few days. All I wanted was to chill out and I was happy with spending my time here between Bacolod and Boracay. Anyway, it just means I can come back and explore another time.

So 2 weeks later we headed off again......

After another long ass trip we made it Boracay for the second time. This time the travel was better. We had front row seats on the bus and it wasn't full, plus I had my kindle, laptop and ipod to keep me company.

We were going to rest for a while but we were too excited so we got ready and went out around 7pm. We decided to have a long meal at Shakey's which was hard because we had started sharing our food. Not to save money but because we just didn't each much anymore. By 9pm we headed on up the beachfront to Tribal Bar. It was still early but we knew the bar staff from last time and had a laugh. As the night went on we bar crawled back down to Summer Place Bar and stayed there. Low and behold Leila's fancy piece was still there from our last visit. She thought it would be funny to try to get me off with his ginger Welsh mate so I pissed off and found a Canadian guy. Well when I say Canadian I mean half Filipino and half Canadian (remember this important fact for later!). As the night went on this Filadian (see what I did there) showered me with lovely words and I have to say, my beer goggles well and truly came into force. Leila decided to give me the room for the night so I dragged him back. Now, don't worry I wont go into details.....because there is no details to give! In true Filipino fashion, yep, he had a babies finger. No, wait, a very drunken, flacid, babies finger! See I do learn lessons and no Dad there were no broken sinks this time! So in true drunken style...he got kicked straight to the curb. Good night!

URGH!!!!! Filadian ALERT!!!

The next day was pretty much spent in bed or on Tagged.com (lets not go there yeah!).

The day after I was right as rain so we decided to hang around the pool catching some sun. The beach was just too hot and most of it was owned by beachfront hotels so you couldn't get a sunbed even if they were empty and you wanted to pay! The pool was like bathwater too but it was wet and kind of refreshing. That night we waited to go out. The bars don't fill midnight – 1am so after the German guy came to see Leila they headed out around 11:30pm and I was going to get ready and meet them out. A half hour later they came back and said it was still dead so they had bought a huge bottle of paint stripper to start us off. So off out we went at 1:30am. Don't ask me how I manage this as I really don't know! It was a slow night (no boys worth my attention) but we drank and danced the night away. Leila was smashed before we went out. She was hilarious! I kept buying her water but she kept stealing the German's drink....paint stripper and coke.

Another day, another hangover. Felt so rough. Although, a few hair of the dogs that evening and a guy who seriously pissed me off (on a certain website...WHY do I do it to myself!!!) I slammed my laptop shut, told Leila to get ready and off we went to hit the beach bars again. When we were wasted enough we headed back. Unfortunately I went online once again and gave someone a really pissed up, profanitised (so not a word lol) piece of my mind and got drunk upset. UGH...who is this girl?????

The next day, after a talk down from a great friend (mentioning no names Sara...whoops) Leila and I decided on a pizza and film night.

On the Saturday, we actually got out to the beach. Not to sunbathe though, just to walk and go see the famous sandcastles they build here. It was a nice chilled out day. On the way back we spotted the Pub Crawl reps and decided...why not? Its a great way to meet people and have a laugh. So that night we donned our Pub Crawl T-Shirts from last time and joined in.

There was a guy who sang at the first bar who was a bit lovely looking in an Usher 'beer goggles' kind of way. He remembered us from last time and we asked to to join us later at the Summer Place after the crawl. (Filipino Tracy.....lesson obviously NOT learned ffs!). Anyway, the night went on but the people on this crawl were not as sociable as the last one. When we hit Wave Bar we decided to bail out but low and behold, who was there....Armando (THE singer). Well after a few failed attempts to talk to him (obviously he was bigger than his boots being 'famous' and all) I put it down to a close call with another Filipino limp dick and left.

Usher....pffftttt pmsl!

Fuggly Chester guy on the left and Stanley for Sex and the City on the right lol

We headed off to the Summer Place but the place was full of locals too. After a few drinks we decided to call off the search and head to McDonalds for tea....at 5am! I got chatting to a guy in line and we went and sat with them outside. A few minutes later, Leila said she has to go as she had just seen the guy from the Pub Crawl, who tried it on with her a few times, enter McD's. She almost ran haha! I stayed a bit longer and told this guy (yep no name remembered) to be a gentleman and walk me back.....smooth eh?

After I persuaded him to come in (ok so I may have pulled him) we kissed. Now, there are few good kissers out there but he was one of the great ones. After a thorough 'search' (well I'd already had one disappointment) it appeared he had drank too much too!!!! And he was small and limp. What is it with the men out here! Should have took that fuggly from Chester home on the Pub Crawl, at least he would have had more of a chance of, well, you know. So I bid a not so fond farewell to him too.

Turns out, the next day, Leila told me he was Filadian too! God I need to trade these beer googles in for a fresh pair!

Sandcastles of Boracay

Some div asked me if I built this lol!

The penultimate day was spent....guess....yep in bed hungover once again. What can I say, I can't deal with hangovers and 35oC heat anymore. We were off home the next day so we just chilled, went out for tea then came back and watched a film.

Boracay is a lovely island. Doesn't compare to Koh Phi Phi but then again nothing does I have to say. I would definitely come back when I next hit the Philippines.

F1...Philippines Style

Well, its fair to say i've feared for my life here on the roads on more than one occasion. We have rush hour at home but here they have 'lets see who can get there first and I don't care who gets in my way' hours.

The first was in Manila where we actually crashed twice on the way to the hotel. After that I just left it to fate since I had no other choice.

Another time was on the way to Boracay in the mini bus. They love to play chicken over here with full size buses and I have been known to let out a small cry a few times. I do try and close my eyes and sleep but with all the bumps in the road and swirving its just impossible. That was one white knuckle ride I had to endure 4 times. Think I might even be ready to face The Big One at Blackpool now even though I said I would never. That said, even if we did crash, we are packed in so tight that none of us would move if we were hit head on.

No shit!

We had a driver take us into Bacolod yesterday and the way home was, well, another adventure. I couldn't keep my mouth shut this time and everyone in the car was cracking up laughing, even the driver. Although, it didn't slow him down! The profanities coming out my mouth, well, its a good job the kids don't understand the words or my accent. I was laughing hysterically and they thought I was having fun and thought I was hilarious! The road was half surfaced at one points so instead of driving on the new tarmac he decided to drive half and half which tilted the car to one side!

Ok it wasn't quite this bad lol

They don't overtake here either, oh no, they overtake, undertake, drive on the other side of the road into oncoming traffic just to pass a little tricycle tuk tuk. I mean at home we leave enough room for both cars but come on a moped does not need 7 feet and a close call with the juggernaut heading straight for you jesus! Seriously if they had a Filipino driver in the Grand Prix he would piss all over Lewis Hamilton and Alonso.

All day rush hour....or as the locals see it

They also like to play a game here called 'lets see how many people we can fit into a tuk tuk or bus'. You can see the size of these little tuk tuks and i've seen at least 10 people on one. They don't have a thing called personal space here. If you need to get from A to B then be willing to sit on someone, knees, hands, feet and head.

To top it all off, all the buses, minivans and tuk tuks have a sign on the back saying 'how's my driving' and a telephone number!!  

Boracay Part 1

I heard that Boracay was a beautiful place. White sand beaches, turquoise waters and great nightlife. Leila and I had decided to go for the weekend, Friday to Monday and oh what a bloody journey. It took us almost 10 hours from leaving Bacolod. We had to take the bus (1hr) to the port, catch a boat for another hour to Iloilo then get a minibus (6hrs). When we finally reached Caticlan we had to get another boat to Boracay and then a tuk tuk to the hotel. All this for around £10. Only I'd forgot my kindle and ipod!!! It felt like forever!

We had a little rest then went out exploring. The first bar we hit had a stag party RESULT!! When they left we had ourselves a little bar crawl or guy crawl I should say thanks to Leila. She pulled me through ever bar looking for nice looking guys before we got a drink and if there were none we'd move on. Thought I was man hungry haha! We finished in a bar called Summer Place. She walked straight over to 3 guys and asked if we could stand at their table. Some balls that girl, they had no choice. She grabbed the beefy welsh guy and started to dance with him. He looked like a bloody robot and didn't have a clue what to do. It was hilarious to watch. 

Dinner at Shakey's

The next day was spent mostly in bed tired from the day before and a little hungover. We'd seen a notice for a Pub Crawl so we went to collect our t-shirts at 4pm, went for dinner early then commenced getting ready and drinking. We joined the crawl at 7:30pm. The first bar was quiet but we got a chance to meet everyone in the crawl. It was mainly locals and a few westerners. Not really any eye candy...but give it time haha. It was a fantastic night of drinking, games, dance off's and forfeits. The main one was not drinking out of your right hand. Piece of piss I thought since im left handed. Oh no, I also smoke and take pictures with my left hand! Yeah got caught 3 times and had to down my drink....one i'd just bought was in a massive glass.

Vision of beauty...right there lol

We ended up at a promotional bar called ETC. Dunno what they were promoting or filming but it was full of famous Filipino's. I wouldn't know them if I fell over them but they were HOT! Did the beer bong twice and climbed on stage to dance and grope the nice boys. Yeah its fair to say I was wasted. After, we ended up in the Summer Place again and ended up crawling home at 6am. Successful night!

My hand was no where near him officer!

Oh hello!

Well, that also meant another day in bed severely hungover. We made it to the beach for about an hour then went back. We nearly got fined for eating our McD's on the beach lol. That night Leila wanted to go out but I didn't trust myself not to get drunk especially with the 10hr journey home the next day.

Those who know me, know that look

Nearly fined 1000 pesos...one expensive McDonalds

A great party weekend!

Bacolod & The Family

I arrived in Bacolod and I was so excited to see Leila. I met her in England as she was a friend of Ruth's. It was going to be great spending my last 6 weeks with a friendly, familiar face. She picked me up from the airport with their driver and we headed back. I was going to stay with her and her family an hour from the city. How cool is that!

Leila and I at the Mall

The house was huge in Filipino standards. They have 2. The main house has 3 bedrooms, a huge dining area, a family room, 2 kitchens (inside and out) and 2 terraces. The bathroom has a working western toilet and the shower only has cold water but to be honest its a god send, its soooo hot here. Her family are lovely. It was all girls apart from little Pedro...the cook and cleaner's son. It seems that most of the children live with the grandparent here. For example, her sister lives on a farm a few minutes from here but her children live here.

That night Leila took me a small village to visit the beach at sunset. It was breathtaking. All the local kids followed us there and laughed and joked as we took pictures. After we went to Kennedy's home (the driver) and I met his family and had a few beers. What an amazing experience I was going to have here.

The next day we chilled out and in the evening we were off to the local church for the Easter Thursday parade. Didn't know we would be in it! We chose a float and walked beside it with the rest of the church. I'm not religious at all but I felt so privileged. By this time i'd realised that not only was I one of few westerners in the town but the only female one too. Everyone kept coming up to Leila asking who I was and saying hello. I've never met more friendly people.

One of the Easter floats

The next day was another lazy day. Not much to do over Easter weekend here. We headed back to the church at night for the bigger parade. We were just going to watch this time. The local police invited us to sit with them at their station and watch it. They were so lovely (even if they were armed!) and really funny. They spoke to me and asked me lots of questions about home. Their English here is really good and I felt at ease talking to anybody. Leila bought me some famous Bacolod BBQ chicken....wow I've never tasted anything like it.

Michaela (Leila's daughter), Natalie and Pedra in a bikini...I mean Pedro

Cute little Pedro. The girls tease him rotten, dress him up as a girl and paint his nails lol

On Saturday we went Renee's home (another worker of the family) for karaoke. I needed a drink first so they bought 2 bottle of brandy. Its fair to say they couldn't get me off it after a while. Screaming cats had nothing on me. It was so funny.

On Sunday we went to a small local resort at the beach. I was a little 'peaky' lets say from the evening before but it was a good day. We went with the whole family and had a BBQ. The kids had a great time. Got lots of stares and people asking about me but I didn't mind and I met neighbour after neighbour haha.

The next weekend we went to Boracay....but thats another post.

I asked Leila one day about getting some professional photos done, don't know why I thought of it, but she said it was definitely possible so we arranged it. The day of the shoot I was a little nervous. I wanted sexy shots and I wanted to show off my new body which was now 2 stone lighter than when I left for Asia. When the woman did my makeup and I thought 'oh shit I look like a bleedin trannie' haha but it looked better in the camera.

The woman who took the pics was a sadist i'm sure. Here are a few lines that took place....

'suck your tummy in'....'I bleedin am, it wont go in anymore!'

'straighten your back, drop your arm and lean this way'....'no love it just doesn't go that way trust me'

'look up, no further up'.....'jesus I can't roll my eyes to the back of my head you know'

'suck your tummy in, more'......'ffs!'

'move you shoulder forward and twist your neck this way'.....'contrary to belief, I wasn't in the exorcist!'

Worth the pain

Honestly, when we'd finished every muscle hurt in my body. Who needs a workout, just have a shoot with this crackpot haha. I must admit, the photo's turned out great although I was pissed off she made me look whiter! I'd spent 7 months getting this bleedin tan!

We went off to Boracay again but for a week this time and I was to collect my pictures on return.

Leila flies to Manila on Monday leaving me here alone with the family. Its making me a little nervous. They are amazing and we all do our own thing but they keep trying to feed me and its not that i'm not grateful because I really am. I just don't have an appetite anymore and eating rice and fish for breakfast doesn't quite float my boat. I'd rather just buy small things like noodles, toast, spam (yes spam!!! whoop!), and make my own snacks when i'm hungry. It feels like I dont appreciate their cooking but really I am now eating to live and not living to eat. A first for me haha.

EAT IT!!!

mmmmm spaaaaaam

Leila assured me that they don't mind at all its just that mama is worried I dont eat enough, bless her. Decided I'm going to make them a chilli at the weekend. They have everything I need here and I can't wait. Was going to make spag bol but they like it sweet here....go figure. Mine is quite rich and may not go down well with the kids.

Well, announced on Facebook my coming home date and everyone is so excited. Brought a tear to my eye. I have had an absolutely amazing time in Asia but I am ready to come home and see my friends and family. Plus my money is almost gone haha.

Read about my experiences.....coming soon.