Christmas in Thailand

Well, lets just say it wasn't how I imagined. You'd think that being on a gorgeous island, white sandy beach on your doorstep and the sound of waves lapping even from afar would be an ideal setting for Christmas wouldn't you? Don't get me wrong, the setting is beautiful but being alone on this somewhat festive day has not been fun.

However, I had a great night last night at a local bar. I was sat alone for a while until I forced myself to move from my comfy cushioned spot to the bar. It seemed it was the only place that people were gathering, that and the dance floor. As soon as I ordered another Long Island, people came to talk to me and invited me to join them. I had the choice of a guy from Oman (with dyed blonde hair??) sat with all his male friends or a group of Americans going crazy on the dance floor....so I chose the latter of course.

on me tod

Ryan is the guy with the hat and of course...the beard

We danced and partied the night away and I had my eye on a guy from California, Ryan. I've always thought that travellers with beards were just lazy gits and it was really winding me up. I mean imagine if I didn't shave my legs, armpits, let my bikini line run wild and grow a unibrow, everyone would look at me like a freak! But this guy was somehow really cute. I went into shy mode and just carried on dancing and getting rat arsed. Later on in the night I was talking to an older guy from Scotland and somehow mentioned that I had my eye on this Ryan guy. He then proceeded to get up and go grab him to come and talk to us!! I may have been pissed at this point but I was still embarrassed. It felt like a 'my friend fancies you' moment. Awkward! Anyway as the night went on we just all chatted and I told him how cute he looked in his beard, like it was an item of clothing! There were no signals at all from him so when most of them left I went onto the Reggae bar with one of the girls. I was determined to get a guy tonight, I'd even asked Santa. (He's real you know).

Not the guy from Finland

At the Reggae bar I got talking to a guy from Finland. No, I don't remember his name but why would I want to ha ha! He didn't speak very good English so we struggled for a while before I asked him the international question everyone understands 'wanna come back to mine'. His eyes almost popped out of his head as he probably couldn't believe his luck. After I thanked the big guy in the red coat off we headed. Its safe to say it wasn't THAT memorable but then again when are one night stands? (I would expand but I know my grandad reads this ha ha!)

Woke up later that day (as it was already Christmas Day) and realised that I must have gone to sleep around 6am. Went to grab some hangover lunch and head back to my room. Dad called me to wish me happy Christmas and I spoke to the kids. It was really funny because Reshen said 'miss you sissy but don't cry' then Rhys said 'you not cry sissy alright?'. They were referring to my last Skype home where the tears escaped me. They were just as upset seeing me cry, bless them.

Then mum called and the flood gates opened for real. I felt so sad because I'd realised that this was my first ever Christmas away from home and alone. I really wanted to be home so badly. Mum empathised with me knowing it was going to be a difficult day for me before I even knew. It's times like this that you really wanna pack up and go home. You start to think that you've seen enough and you've had enough of everything. From the constant travelling to being alone to having to start all over again when arriving in a new place to get your bearings and leaving your comfort zone from the place before. It really is emotionally tiring and does takes it toll.

I told myself before I came that when I felt like this I would give myself a week to pull myself together before I made the drastic decision to go home. Give myself time to remember why I was here and what would be the alternative? To go back to work to a job I'm bored of? To regret going home after a few weeks. No. This is my time to see the world, decide how I want to live the rest of my life and be the person I want to be. This is the journey I signed up for. No matter how many low days, there are still a lot of high days been had and have to come.

So tonight I will go back to my room, watch a film, read my book and say goodbye to Christmas Day 2012 and vow that I will never be alone on this day ever again.

Laos...otherwise known as Murphy's Law

We should have known when we got to the bus station that Murphy's Law was about to kick in for our trip to Laos.  Jen and I had decided to travel to Laos together.  We were going the same way and we could save on room costs,etc but most of all, we got on like a house on fire.

tables and chairs anyone

We got to the bus station only to be told that the bus was not going to Luang Prabang (north Laos) but to Vientienne (south Laos and the capital) some 24 hours away and not 17 hours as planned.  We looked at each other and said that you know what....there's nothing we can do so just go with the flow.  I asked Jen if she wanted to go to the rooftop bar.  She was confused until I showed her all the tables and chairs strapped to the top of the bus! Hahaha!  We were forced to the back of the sleeper bus with 5 beds together on the 'back seat'.  It was then we realised that not only were we going to the opposite end of the country but that the bus had no individual beds and no toilet as sold by the hostel woman!!  It was only then that I panicked and realised I needed a piss, only we'd set off!

cramped...much!

We stopped somewhere on the road and picked up random locals (a little extra money for the driver) who slepted in a secret place?????? I got off to go for a wee only for the driver to point me to a ditch.  As if! I was the last one off the bus and I didn't wanna be chasing the bloody thing down the road with my pants round my ankles when he'd forgot about me LOL!

The bus ride was so fast and bumpy...not ideal when you need a wee badly!! (which I finally had 6 hours later!)  When we turned corners, Jen and I flew over the other 3 people.  We pissed ourselves but they didn't look that happy.  What?  Its gravity! Everytime we got to sleep the driver hit the brakes and we all slid down to the end of the bed at the speed of light and ended up in a curled ball yelling OUCH!!! hahahahaha.  When we reached the border we got off and saw all these little people crawling out from under the beds....so thats where they put them.  We were told to walk so we did...into the fog for 10 minutes!  We were certain there was a border around here somewhere in the fog and mud.

there's a border here somewhere...?

We finally arrived in the capital, the wrong end of the country we were supposed to be in and given half the fare to Luang Prabang and told to get on another bus...for 10 hours!!! PISS OFF we said!  We decided to stay and do the country from the other way round.  We went for a beer (to get our bearings of course!) and found a hotel.

funny as....

The next day we slept in and got up for a late breakfast.  We went to the museum but it was shut until 1pm so we went to the river front to see the river.  Well, river bed is what it was haha!  Its wierd that Thailand was on the other side.  Anyway, we headed back to the museum which I had bigged up to Jen as amazing according to a girl I met in Nha Trang.  Yeah....wrong bleeding museum dumbass!  It was boring as fuck.  We then went for lunch and decided to go to the Buddha Park.  We arrange for a tuk tuk and pay 120,000 kip.  He agreed until 10 minutes down the road he changed it to 170,000.  No chance! So we told him to take us to the bus station.  The 'bible' the Lonely Planet told us we could get the no.14 bus straight there.  When we 'arrived' we found that we had been dropped at the bloody Thai/Laos border and no one knew what we wanted to do AND they all wanted baht (currency of Thailand).  'We dont have baht!!!!'  We were giggling so much.  We couldn't get anything right.  We finally found someone who told us the park closed at 5pm and it was now 5:10pm.  We called it a day and got back on the bus to the city centre still pissing ourselves laughing.

the 10 year old bus conductor

We got back and Jen tried to show a tuk tuk driver where we wanted to go with a map....only for the power to go out in the town! hahaha.  So she went to the front of a bus in the headlights to show him...luckily it didnt drive off lol! We got to the tuk tuk and I tripped over the bar and fell ass over tit into the bloody thing landing on my knees ahahaha! What a day.  We decided to go for a nice relaxing massage.  Relaxing!!!! My girl thought she was some S&M queen! Bleedin hell it hurt!  When I thought she had finally finished she turned me over and flipped the cover down to my waist so I was lay there with my tits out.  I thought 'ok ok she will just massage my stomach.....oh my god she's massaging my boobs!!!!!!'  I was dying to laugh.  I kept it in for about 2 minutes then burst out a massive grunt and couldn't stop laughing.  Jen was bewilidered?????  Did the same thing just happen to her?  We needed a stiff drink after that and went to a local bar to spot ladyboys over a cocktail or two.

The next day was our last in Vientienne so we got up early and give into the tuk tuk drivers and went to the Buddha Park.  It was amazing! After, we went to the Cope Centre...the place I was bigging up the previous day.  It was so sad.  It turned out that Laos the most bombed country per capita in the world and still unexploded bombs are going off to this day when people and children are digging for scrap metal to sell.  This place offered free rehibilitation for amputees and artificial limbs for them.  Amazing place.  We got the tuk tuk back and caught the bus to Vang Vieng.  It was packed and the driver was going through peoples bags on the roof 'apparently'.  Well he was welcome to by dirty underwear lol!

buddha park

the red parts are where the bombs were dropped...they are represented by a tiny red dot

Arrived in Vang Vieng - the tubing capital of Laos.  This is the place where you take a rubber ring down the river and stop off at makeshift bars and get wasted.  Well, until a month ago when they closed all the bars because of the amount of people dying on the river.  I mean taking bad drugs and drowning or swinging off the ropes and landing in shallow water....fucking idiots!  We stopped at a bar for a beer as usual where they had beds and tv's with re-runs of Friends.  We were so chilled that we just checked in to the place....in a proper room of course.

The next day we headed for the river to go tubing.  We took 2 beers each and a water proof camera (lesson learned remember lol) and headed out on our big rubber ring.  It was great without the bars.  The scenery was amazing and it was so peaceful.  Had a great time.  At the end where you are supposed to get off I heard a big SPLASH.  It was a little kid jumping in to pull me to one side bless him. He was shivering to death so he got a good tip of us (£4).  We headed back (Jen without flipflops which she broke trying to get off the ring and grab another beer off a local) and went out to a few bars.  At the last bar we went to we were dancing and then Jen realised some robbing bastard had taken her last pair of flip flops lol!  I cracked up laughing but Jen wasn't until the next day.

(The tubing pics are on a waterproof camera...sorry)

banana and chocolate pancake mmmmmm

On our last day we had to get the bus to Luang Prabang....finally!  Everyone sits where they want on these buses so we were sat apart.  No biggy. Two hours in we stopped for lunch.  We got back on only to be told that not only was the toilet not working (which Jen found out earlier) but the air con had packed in.  We just sat there laughing our heads off.....Murphy's Law eh!  So we went on through the mountains twisting and turning, breaking hard and climbing higher in altitude with no air con.  When we finally arrived I felt sick as a dog.  We found a shithole for the night and decided to move the next day.

The next morning we found a great little place right in the heart of everything.  My opinion of Luang went up. We went for breakfast and caught a tuk tuk to Kuang Si Waterfalls.  Oh my god it was amazing! I can't describe the beauty, I even had a tear in my eye because I was just in awe.  That night, after a wee snooze, we went for dinner.  The only problem was that everywhere shut at 10pm and it was 9:30pm.  We got death stares at the restaurant we found and convinced that they were gonna spit in our food or rub a rats ass in it.  Ok, early night then.  (Everywhere has to shut by 10pm or 10:30pm or they will be fined. So no shops, restaurants, bars or anything are still open and a curfew is in place! This is to prevent crime.  It seems to work though).

Kuang Si Waterfalls

Our last day in Laos came around and we decided to end it with a bang.  We went to a park where we rode elephants, saw another waterfall and the best of all.....went zip lining!  Why not?  It was amazing.  At one point I got stuck near the end of the line and they had to pull me in.  Translated in English it went....heave hooooo, heave hoooo hahahahahaha!  They were pissing themselves and so was I coz they were so scrawny.

We headed back and went to the local temple....300 steps high!!! But OMG! the view at sunset was amazing!  We were there...Jen and I, with a beer in hand toasting to an amazing day and perfect end to our time together in Laos.  The next day we were going our separate ways.  We went for dinner at the market.  It was well nice!  Early night because I was up at 5am to catch my flight to Bangkok at 7:30am.

night market

Hanoi & Halong Bay

Got on the nightbus to Hanoi and saw Jen who i'd met in Dalat on the biker tour as we were travelling along. Had a swift chat then tried to sleep.  The next day I arrived and again, it just so happened i was staying around the corner.  Nice one...till i saw the shithole.  Why oh why do i do this to myself....coz i'm on a budget thats why!!  I passed a few rats on the way and headed to my dorm room.  It was ok but no atmosphere.  So I decided to go and get breakfast and have a wonder around.  I was dying to see Breaking Dawn Part 2 so off I went to the cinema.  It was great!  A little piece of normality for a few hours.  When I got back I went to a bar on the corner of my street and use the WIFI.

Daniel and Jen

A few minutes later I heard 'oy!'  It was Jen and she decided to join me.  A few more minutes later I heard 'Tracy?'.  This time it was Daniel who i'd met in Hoi An!  I found this really surreal but loved it!  So we all sat there having a beer and chatting the day away.  When Dan left, Jen and I went to find food and after found a bar/pub/street corner selling beer for pittance.  The stools were that low that my body thought it was squatting and I soon needed a number 2 hahaha.  Held off and went for a wee in the most disgusting alleyway/toilet I had seen.  By now, a hole in the ground was bliss except I'd ran out of toilet paper!!!!!  We got talking to some others from Canada and England and Jen decided to go to bed. With my bag firmly attached to me (lesson learned remember again) we walked across the road to a jazz bar.  Jason (the canadian guy) had forgot his bag and walked back across the road........it was gone.  Phone, money, photos of his whole trip...gone!  I felt horrible for thinking it but I felt a little better knowing it wasn't just me it happened too. (I'd met a guy who was on his 4th iPhone??? Why would you buy more after the 1st one being stolen you prick!)

Check out the low low low stools

The next day I was off to Halong Bay.  At the halfway stop I heard 'oy!'. It was Jen! We were doing the same trip but different boat.  We arrived on the boat and it appeared that not only did I NOT have my own room as told, but I was sharing with a German girl and Austrian guy who were friends!  THEN we went to put our bags in the room and it just so happened that not only was I sharing with 2 strangers (not a massive problem for me by now) but I was sharing a double bed with the German girl!!  So we decided one thing...lets get pissed!

Caves in Halong Bay

We watched the sunset over Halong Bay and got showered (individually of course...and a cold one!).  I had been talking to an older guy called Peter from the UK but lived in Asia teaching and we decided that we both fancied a bottle of red wine that night....until we saw the price...$18 (£12) for a local bottle of shit!  Anyway, whilst on the top deck a woman in a little motorboat pulled up along side us so we all raided her of her alcohol...including 2 bottles of red wine.  The boat wanted to charge us corkage for beer and wine so we hid them in our room.  After dinner was karaoke...yeah right!  We all pissed off onto the top deck and snuck our alcohol out of our rooms like naughty school children.  We talked and laughed all night whilst hiding the evidence from the crew who came up for a nosey every now and again hahahahahaha! Pissed as farts lol!

Our 'junk' boat

Sunset over Halong Bay

The next day we headed back to Hanoi and back to my hostel.  I thought about changing it but I only had one night left.  I headed out to KFC (awwww!) for dinner and met Jen on the street corner!  We decided to go to the City View Cafe for a few drinks (or hair of the dog for me from the night before).  We had booked the same bus to Laos the next day and said bye after a few laughs about my disaster Halong Bay trip.

My last day in Laos.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  I had been on the go since China, 2 and a half months ago but I dragged myself out of bed (if only to kill the bleedin dog that had been crying outside since 4am!!). I decided to give the mausoleum a miss.  A dead embalmed body....no thanks!  So I walked to the lake and to the old prison.  Was ok.  Then I headed back to the City View Cafe for lunch and to meet Jen later.

Mao Lao Prison

View from the City View Cafe

After a few more beers (wrong idea...you'll see later) we headed back to our hotel/hostel and met again on the bus to Laos.  Oh what fun we were in for...................

Hoi An & Hue (A Caught Short Story)

Arrived in Hoi An in the morning not so fresh off the sleeper bus.  The are gradually getting a worse standard as I go...funny that.  I'd yet again forgot the name of my hostel so I got dropped in the middle of town to find an internet cafe so I could check my email.  It was right around the corner.  Really didnt like the place and should have moved but I was knackered.  I was sharing with 3 other guys and me again.  Surely they should have put me in a room with girls???

Amy had told me about a tailor she went to called Anh.  They were really popular here and I thought why not treat myself to some new clothes. I hate shopping at home and never spend much money on clothes so I decided to splash out.  3 hours later and £200 lighter i'd ordered 4 dresses, 2 tops, 2 pants and a skirt, all made to fit me and my choice of design, material and colour.  Besides, some of my clothes were getting a bit tattered and trying to buy something in asia for my size is none existent.  Later I went to the beach for lunch.  It was gorgeous and way better that Nha Trang.  I was still tired so I went back for a snooze.

That night I went to the river for dinner.  It was the ancient part of town and was lovely.  Found the cheapest beer so far....4000 Dong = 12p!!  Didn't like it much though.  After, I headed to a backpackers bar.  About half hour sitting alone a girls came over to talk to me...how lovely.  The next thing you know 2 guys joined us and then her friends.  Later that night we went to a club.  I played pool with the locals....MISTAKE!!! When I got home I realised that my camera and my phone had been taken and could have only happened when I put my bag down for a few minutes to take a few shots at pool.  I was so annoyed at myself for letting it happen!  So the next day I went to buy a new phone £15 and camera £100.  I needed a decent one because I have so much of my trip left.  I also paid up for my clothes! Expensive day!  Later I went back to bed hungover and in a really bad mood.  That night I found a great Indian for dinner.  Long day and a BIG lesson learned.  Ah well, onwards and upwards!  You have to think like that because there is nothing you can do 
about it.

chicken madras with butter naan mmmmmmm

On my last day I went to the river for breakfast and to re-take my photos then headed for the beach.  Ahhhh just what I needed, until... a storm blew in.  It was the backlash of a typhoon which had hit the Philippines.  I was so worried so I messaged Ruth to see if her family were ok and they were thank god!  The next morning I headed for Hue some 4 hours away.

still smiling   :)

When I arrived a guy named Han agreed to take me to my hotel and around the city for 2 days.  My hotel Valentine was pure luxury to what I had just stayed in.  A double bed, tv, private bathroom, minibar AND supplied toilet paper.  Its funny what 'luxury' turns out to be when your travelling.  After a horrible lunch of beef and noodles we headed off to various sights.  

some tomb of someone important lol

We got to the Citadel (the main attraction) and I headed in.  As I passed through the entrance my stomach started cramping. Oh no! I needed the toilet and fast!  I couldn't find one anywhere.  I sat down but it got worse.  That was it...I was gonna shit myself in the middle of an ancient ruin!  I looked around and saw they had massive trees in the garden area and no one was around.  I was mortified at the fact I was gonna have to empty myself behind a tree!  I rushed over and as I put my bag down I saw a security guard doing his rounds. Oh no! What am I gonna do?!  I tried to look like I was taking pictures but then he stopped for a smoke...no chance of going now.  Luckily it subsided but I knew it would be back minutes.  So, clenching my butt cheeks I walked extremely fast to another part of the Citadel and it was there I saw it....a sign from God................WC!  Just as the cramps came back and my ass was twitching I headed into the toilet.  Poor sod who was next to me in the cubicle was probably just as embarrassed as me as my butt exploded like napalm into the bowl hahahahahahaha!

A sign from God!

After that I left.  I'd agreed with Han that we would go for a beer so I was just hoping my gut was completely empty.  After a few, it started.  Han I mean not my ass. 'I give you good massage?' 'No Han'.  'Ok I come to your room, I have condom and we bum bum?' (Bum bum is exactly that)  'NO HAN! Behave or I wont tour with you tomorrow'.  Later his friend joined us.  His name was Viet.  So I was sat with Viet Han.....hahahaha!  The joke was lost on them.  Tonight was film night in my lovely big bed.

ever heard of personal space mate?

Was woken up the next morning but a cat being strangled.  Well it sounded like that.  A karaoke place next door had opened at 8am!  Off I went for another day with Han.  After the tour I asked him to take me to a real local restaurant and he did and invited Viet and another guy.  It was right by the river and as I was eating my bbq goat I saw a rat run by!  Seen it so often it doesn't bother me anymore. Two crates of beer later (I only had 3 beers by the way, lesson learned remember!) and it started again...'you, me bum bum' and  'I give you gooooood massage'.  So I paid (£10 for all of it) and bid my farewell. 

post office....should be a listed building!

The next day I sent my postcards and Si's present home and waited for my night bus at 5pm to take me to Hanoi.